As mentioned in the last two blogs, this is a series on values that I learned growing up which I still keep to this day. This series is six blogs long. We are on childhood value #3: FINISH WHAT YOU START. (In case you’re interested, #1 was INTEGRITY and #2 was DOING CHORES. You can read these in the Recent Posts section.)
I have a confession to make: this is one of the hardest values that I had to learn, and continue to re-learn time and again! This blog will be a "raw" one for me, and I hope you don't mind my being real here. I believe that someone, somehow, can relate to what I share.
When you have a lot of ideas swirling in your mind, it is hard to choose which one to pick and start. You go through the pros and the cons, project what the possible outcomes will be, re-assess as to which one of the many ideas really work best for you, and go through the whole process all over again UNTIL you think you have the best one to pick! And when you do choose one, and make this idea a reality, you then have to fight the urge of quitting when you encounter the heaviest of resistances you’ll ever encounter in your life (or so you think at that moment!). At that point, you’re faced with a decision… to continue fighting for this idea to be a reality, OR “to throw in the towel” and quit!
This became real to me again this week.
In the midst of pressures at work (because of many projects requiring attention!), some things started brewing at home, stemming from, IMO (in my opinion), the same issues that I thought my wife and I had already resolved before! This was frustrating to me, because I had thought that we had already resolved these things, hence wouldn’t/shouldn’t appear again, right? Wrong! The issues have re-surfaced (although with a different “face” this time), and we’re yet again having to work at resolving these.
Now I am a firm believer of addressing issues and finding resolutions to these because I also believe that doing so allows us to move forward and succeed in life. However, I have also come to realize (thankfully!) and accept that not everything in life can be resolved at the moment that we’d like to get things resolved, NOR may ever be resolved at all, no matter how hard we try! That’s why it is important to always remind ourselves of the values that truly make a difference! And in this particular instance, this value for me was to finish what I had started, and to finish well and strong!
During lunch this week with a friend, I shared what was happening in my life, specifically my current struggles. After I was done sharing, he asked me which I thought was more important in the midst of what I was going through… to focus on my end-goal (for this situation) OR to focus on the NOW and to see it as the training ground, which would enable me to see the steps to get me to my end-goal? He further elaborated that sometimes, in our desire to achieve our goals, we fail to stay in the present and allow the “now-things” to train us, shape us, and strengthen us SO THAT we are able to move forward and achieve our desired goals.
I came out of that lunch meeting being forced to look at my present circumstances from a different angle. I have to admit that I was already entertaining the thought of giving up because, to me, there seemed to be no “light at the end of the tunnel” for the issues my wife and I were facing. One part of me was thinking this: “Why even bother fighting for what I believed in, when the same issues would re-surface, and we’d just go through the same process all over again!? Why not just quit!?”
My answer brought me back to this blog series of values, specifically on value #3: finish what you start! How ironic it was to be confronted with a question that was going to be answered by the very topic I was going to be writing about this week!
But that is exactly how life is, right?
Life has a way of testing the values that we hold on to, and of putting these through a crucible in order to prove them either right or wrong! This is exactly what happened. This became real for me: life put this value of “finish what you start” to test. Seneca, one of ancient Rome’s revered philosophers, once said, “Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men.” I had my own “adversity” before me now: a choice to believe that this value– “finish what you start”–was right or wrong for my life, my family, and my circumstances OR not!
Whenever I feel really down, a song always comes to mind: “Find us Faithful“. This song, written by Jon Mohr, has a very challenging chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful, May the fire of our devotion light their way, May the footprints that we leave Lead them to believe, And the lives we live inspire them to obey, Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful.
As I close this blog, I can honestly say that yet once more, that song has caused me to commit to be faithful to myself, my calling, and to my family. Despite everything that has happened this week, I choose to finish what I have started. I need to do this, especially because I want my own son to also learn this value and apply it when he is old enough.
I believe what C. S. Lewis, one of the intellectual giants of the twentieth century and professor at Oxford University, said: “The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one’s life.” This truth falls in line with what my friend said over lunch: “focus on the now and consider it as training ground for you to achieve your desired goal”. This week, I did encounter interruptions to my life. But once more, I’ve been reminded that our interruptions aren’t meant to keep us from our goals. These are but stepping stones that lead us to the next level in our journey! It is up to us to change our perspective though!
I don’t know where you are at in your journey today, or what the strong feelings are welling within you. I truly hope though that you make a decision now to finish what you’ve started, and to finish strong!
Love it. I learned in life that the key virtues we need to have inorder to be able to attain a goal are PATIENCE and DETERMINATION. Patience is vital when things do not go as plan. We need to pause and take into account na dili tanan will go your way hora mismo.😉
And determination to reach the goal or finish the task at hand after you have made the necessary tweaks along the way.😉
Thanks for these great points, Teds. Indeed, PATIENCE and DETERMINATION are much needed virtues as well, if we truly are to remain sane and hopeful. I thank my family and friends (like you!) for the continued encouragement whenever I feel down (and tired to take the next step!). There is always hope in the midst of the difficult times. Reminds me of that one scene in the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, where Gandalf is imprisoned on top of Orthanc (Saruman’s Tower) in Isengard. There’s a moth that hovers amid the growing evil all around, and flies near Gandalf who is then able to whisper “Gwaihir” to it, thereby setting up the scene for Gandalf’s escape! I thought that that was a great imagery of hope in the midst of trouble. And there will always be hope. That is why we are able to move forward in life.