Childhood Value Series: #2 DOING CHORES

In my last blog, I mentioned that I was doing a series on values that I learned growing up which I still keep to this day. This series was going to be six blogs long, with the first on INTEGRITY.

This week, we talk about childhood value #2: DOING CHORES. But before we jump to it, here’s a couple of videos of my son “already doing some chores” (without being prompted to do so!). We really hope that he maintains this helpful attitude when he gets older. 🙂

So what are “chores”? The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “a job or piece of work that is often boring or unpleasant but needs to be done regularly.” (bold and italics mine) In the Ben and Eleanor Sardual household, chores were defined as assigned household tasks that needed to be done on a daily, weekly, or regular basis, which were, in our childish minds, “unpleasant” and which we wished would disappear or that we didn’t have to do. Examples were setting the dinner table, washing the dishes, scrubbing the floor, making our beds, fetching water from our well and filling the bathroom barrels (as we didn’t have modern plumbing yet at that time), or helping out with the family store or fish farm (ponong).

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!

Phyllis Diller

https://www.wisesayings.com/housework-quotes/#ixzz6mQOeVbeW

I asked my mom the other day why she and Dad thought it important to assign chores to us. She said they believed that it would teach us to be responsible, help us learn about achievement, and allow us to experience the pleasure of completing things that we started.

Researching this topic on the internet led me to the same reasons, with a couple of articles presenting the following conclusions:

Research from a well-known 75-year Harvard study examined the childhood psychosocial variables and biological processes that predicted health and well-being later in life.[1] Researchers concluded that kids who had chores fared better later in life. Chores were the best predictor of which kids were more likely to become happy, healthy, independent adults.[2] (Article by Amy Morin, LCSW entitled "The Importance of Chores for Kids", October 1, 2020)

Research indicates that those children who do have a set of chores have higher self-esteem, are more responsible, and are better able to deal with frustration and delay gratification, all of which contribute to greater success in school.

Furthermore, research by Marty Rossman* shows that involving children in household tasks at an early age can have a positive impact later in life. In fact, says Rossman, “the best predictor of young adults’ success in their mid-20’s was that they participated in household tasks when they were three or four.” (The Center for Parenting Education article: "RESPONSIBILITY AND CHORES: PART I – BENEFITS OF CHORES")

In the Philippines, it is customary for the older sibling to help out with raising the younger siblings. This is especially true in the rural areas, where you will still see older siblings helping with the cooking of meals, cleaning of the house, tending to the farm animals, or taking care of the toddlers/babies in the brood. So this concept of doing chores isn’t a foreign idea to the Filipinos.

But how do parents determine which chores are appropriate for their kids? Mom’s advice is to get to know your kid’s make up and his/her preferences. Additionally, knowing your kid’s maturity plays a factor in which chore can be assigned to him/her. The key thought here is to assign tasks that are simple enough to be done. So for my two-year-old son, this means returning toys to the storage bins after playing, instead of leaving toys scattered all over. Mom, further remarked, “It’s important to set simple but specific ‘DO’s’ and ‘DON’Ts’ rules, yet still allowing the kids to be kids and play.”

In the case of our son, Ari, it really is encouraging to see his willingness to help out in any way he can, as shown in those two videos. Whenever he doesn’t clean up his play pen, he points to it, and tells us “What a mess!”, along with the spreading of his hands to show what he’s done. All these tell my wife and I that he does understand what needs to be done. So as parents, we need to show by our example (by doing our own chores!) AND by being consistent about doing chores. The end goal is to help him understand this principle and help him develop good habits along the way.

A final thought on this childhood value: I consider myself to be a contributing member of society, to have a good work ethic, and to be a self-reliant adult. (Those who know me well can attest to these claims!) All these have been possible because of my upbringing–specifically, because early in my childhood, my parents gave me chores to do.

If you still don’t believe in the importance of doing chores, read this article, “7 Important reasons why kids should have chores“. After you do, leave me a comment on what you thought about it. I’d like to hear your feedback!