Just a little humor to brighten the week!

This past week, my sister reminded me of the need to include humor in my blog. So I’ve decided to share some of real-life stories I came across the ever reliable Reader’s Digest:

After a coworker had finished his English lecture and his class had filed out, a tenth grader stayed behind to confront him.

“I don’t appreciate being singled out,” he told his teacher.

The teacher was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what the ‘oxy’ part means, but I know what a ‘moron’ is, and you looked straight at me when you said it.”

—Jannie Smith, Ashville, Alabama

Performing Mozart should have been the highlight of my middle school chorus class. But after a few uninspired attempts, an exasperated student raised her hand and said, “Mrs. Willis, we want to sing music from our generation, not yours.”

—Wendy Willis, Naples, Florida

Jimmy had trouble figuring out when to use I instead of me. Then one day, while creating a sentence in front of the first-grade class, Jimmy haltingly said, “I … I … I shut the door.” Realizing that he was right, he jumped up and down and shouted, “Me did it!”

—Susan Williams, Portland, Indiana

“I got called the g word,” sobbed a third-grade girl.

“OK. Let’s calm down,” I said, kneeling beside her. “Now, exactly what were you called?”

Between sobs she blurted, “G … g … jerk!”

—Steve Wright, Orangevale, California

During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of Henry VIII.

“We have only regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”

—Lisa Rich, Milledgeville, Georgia

When her child’s towel was stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate parent demanded of my mother, “What kind of juvenile delinquents are in class with my child?!”

“I’m sure it was taken accidentally,” said Mom. “What does it look like?”

“It’s white,” said the parent. “And it says Holiday Inn on it.”

—Heather Lauby, St. Louis, Missouri

It always irked my single mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen. Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six. “I was so excited,” she told us later, “that I bought two!” —Thomas Hassmann 

Ann: I herd that you are a hypochondriac. Stan: Well, my doctor says I’m not, but I spent 3 days reading about it on the internet and I have all the symptoms.

A lawyer is driving a car down the street and instead of stopping at the stop sign, the lawyer slows down. A policeman sees this and pulls the car over and asks the man why he didn’t stop at the stop sign. “It’s the same thing,” the lawyer stated, “I don’t believe there is a difference between stop and slow down.” “Allow me to prove it to you,” the policeman said. He asks the lawyer to step out of his car and suddenly starts hitting him with his baton. After a lot of pain that the lawyer endured, the policeman asked him, “Now do you want me to stop, or slow down?”

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